Did You Fall In?!?

 When living in the world of toddler boys, few things are more significant than when they finally decide to use the potty. It means a level of independence, fewer diapers, and a lot more mess! Ever see the sings in a bathroom saying "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be sweet, wipe the seat!" ?? Yeah, that is non-applicable in the world of wee little winky dinks, and chubby little fingers.

 Yesterday Troy absolutely refused to wear a diaper. I put one on him, he hid and took it off. I tracked, captured, and pinned down the wriggling little beast, attempting repeatedly to deploy the shit containing devices. To absolutely no avail. He dodged, twirled, kicked, wiggled, slithered, and clawed his way out of them every time... Finally, I caved. "Ok" I said "You win."
 Troy was extremely delighted by my defeat, he squealed with delight, and streaked about the house for the better part of an hour. That was when I became suspicious, and began checking for winky dribble. None. Ok, must be he hasn't had enough fluids today. In mid-thought nikki walks through the front door, completely disrupting the plan I was forming, to again capture and diaper the beast. Off he runs...
  Meanwhile, I question Nikki as to why she is home before 1500- apparently it was a 1/2 day. What a great mom I am, completely escaped being stored in my memory banks. She walks away abruptly, stating that the need to urinate is becoming imminent. I follow down the hall, still questioning, when I hear her squeal in a sickeningly sweet voice "Troy!!! Youe Peed In The POTTY!!!". I  round the corner just in time to see my half naked child on tippy toes, grasping the rim of the toilet with one hand, and his we little winky dink in the other, leaned almost far enough over to cause a surge of adrenaline at the thought of him falling head first into the porcelain pisser."I point it DOWN!" he says, and sure enough, I see that he had. Not one drop landed on the clean tiled floor.

 This is but one more step toward my baby becoming my little man... I wish I could freeze him just how he is now, for a couple more years. At least.
 On the other hand, it sure beats getting squirted in the face first thing in the morning, when you come to realize just a moment too late, that the little bugger isn't done yet.

On The Topic Of The Alarm Clock

 When an alarm is set, it is supposed to sound. That sound is intended to alert one to a specific time, date, warning, etc. Correct?
 This morning, my "Wake The Fuck Up!" alarm failed. For some unknown reason, it simply did not sound. Perhaps it was saying fuck you, I am unsure that the alarm could in fact think- Personally, I would detest being used to rouse a bitchy human at 0620 daily, only to be clutched by clumsy fingers that are still sleep numb, dropped, slammed about, or cursed at. Who is to say that the alarm had not finally reached its abuse limit?

 At 0643 today, Nikki roused me. Her internal alarm was accurate enough. She was dressed, hair brushed, shoes on, backpack in hand... I was in bed, curled against my lovely, in happy dream land, drooling on my pillow.
 "Mom!" in a hushed tone, through the veil of sleep drifted to me. "MOM!" more urgent this time. "Mother! it is 6:43!!!!".  Oh Shit! the realization struck me, that my faithful teli had not vibrated on the nightstand... my mind raced, time was wasting. I did the math. 7 minutes to get dressed, out the door, and to the bus stop. It takes almost 4 minutes to get to the bus stop- Mr. Nathan is always on time.
 I jumped up, groped for some pants. Found them! Triumph. Now, I need a shirt. Oh crap, wheres my bra? Fuck it! No time! I pulled on a sweatshirt and stumbled towards the kitchen... I had shoes somewhere.
 By the time we got to the front door, three minutes had elapsed. I was sweating. Cutting it a little close this time- But we would have missed it entirely, had it not been for Nikki's sense of duty, and her honesty. I do not know many children who would not have gone straight back to bed after realizing that their parents were still asleep.
 So, in reward of her good behavior, I did the thing I bitch almost constantly about- especially when I see children at the bus stop munching on honey buns & pop tarts. I gave her a cookie. For her good behavior, of course.
 We made it to the stop just in time.